I felt excitement and nervousness. I was stunned, not just by excitement, but of fear. For years I thought I was missing music from my favorite band, but all these years I was getting something invaluable: a live experience locked in time. A safe haven. A Tool concert means instant access to the best memories, none of them clouded by those last few shitty albums you wish never came out or the young new fans that came with those shitty albums and spent the entire show getting obliterated and talking during every song except the latest single.
We stand and wait; the outside world paused and forgotten. The house lights go out. We collectively fill that darkness with a meditative calm followed by blood-curdling screams of carnal ecstasy before a minute time capsule of explosive visual and sonic bliss whisks us away to a transcendent state of genre bending art metal. That was an experience safe from outsiders, one preserved for what seemed like eternity as Tool took more than a decade to add to their discography.
The new album was some Orwellian goal, glimmering in the distance, non-existent, but just powerful enough to direct our emotions toward one committed outcome. But, that all changes this August—that conserved musical relationship gets invaded by newness and outside interlopers.
And it began on August 2, when Tool made their entire discography available on major streaming platforms and iTunes. I already know the feeling. I felt crushed like a bug in the ground. As life drags on, very few things retain any purity. Everything that is good at one point becomes bad. Love fades. Relatives die. Your parents start watching Fox News. I have found myself needing some sort of reliable source of untainted happiness.
Tool is one of the few pure things left in my life. And that long wait for a new album brought fans together. Fans have spent more than a decade bonding over the lack of new Tool music. That camaraderie replaced the void that a new Tool album could fill. To love something is to suffer—and that's what us Tool fans have done for 13 long years.
All this waiting, fantasizing and complaining and what if What if it's good, you might ask? Well, how can we—the diehard fans—be objective critics of a new album? And you better believe this is beyond love. Admitting something so fundamental to our consciousness would destroy the foundations of our musical identities causing a spiritual collapse that would render us broken and lost in the psychic rubble of our former selves unable to see, think, feel or hear.
I also tried when Metallica released Load. And Re-Load. And St. The most likely outcome of a new Tool album is that it simply will not—and cannot—live up to 13 years of built up anticipation and hype.
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